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The Sunday school teacher is out. Good thing a substitute is available: Satan!

SATAN'S GUIDE TO THE BIBLE is an animated documentary. Join Satan as he shares Bible secrets, secrets the students' pastor learned at Christian seminary but is afraid to share. Thankfully, Satan's not afraid of losing his job.

Satan has amassed an impressive list of biblical scholars ready to reveal the "standard stuff" taught in Christian seminaries: Bart Ehrman (UNC Chapel Hill), John J. Collins (Yale), Dale Allison (Princeton Seminary), Susan Niditch (Amherst), Ron Hendel (UC Berkeley), and Hector Avalos (Iowa State). This is established seminary curriculum about biblical history, biblical morals, authorship claims, and early Christianity — a curriculum never shared with the congregation.

Darkly comedic, but thoroughly researched, SATAN'S GUIDE TO THE BIBLE is a fascinating journey into the secrets of the world's best-selling book.

Directed by documentary filmmaker Zeke Piestrup (APOCALYPSE LATER: HAROLD CAMPING VS THE END OF THE WORLD) and produced by animation filmmaker Tim Johnson (ANTZ, OVER THE HEDGE, HOME)

SATANSGUIDE.com

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INDEX:
00:01 SUBSTITUTE SATAN’S GOT BIBLE SECRETS
03:59 WHAT’S LEARNED AT SEMINARY STAYS AT SEMINARY

06:30 I. THE BIBLE + HISTORY
06:38 THE EXODUS FROM EGYPT
08:49 ISRAELITES NEVER LIVED IN EGYPT
09:54 INERRANT MEANS WITHOUT ERROR
10:45 GOD’S GOT SCHOLARS TOO
12:40 THE PROMISE OF THE ALREADY-PROMISED PROMISED LAND
15:07 EVANGELICALS SAY CANAANITES WERE TOTALLY CRAPPY
16:16 ISRAELITES ARE CANAANITES?
17:21 EL
18:54 COMPETING HISTORIES FOR IMPRESSING NEIGHBORS
19:09 THE STORY MAKES THE PEOPLE INTO THE PEOPLE
20:38 THE CRITICAL SCHOLARS ARE CHRISTIAN
22:41 WHY ARE CHRISTIANS ATTACKING THE BIBLE?
24:36 THE PROBLEM WITH BIBLICAL INERRANCY

27:56 II. THE BIBLE + MORALS
28:34 HAPPY BABY SMASHING
30:52 CANAAN RECAP
31:18 JOSHUA WILL LEAVE NOTHING UNDONE
32:59 JOSHUA OBLITERATES JERICHO
34:45 KILLING KIDS IS FINE FEATURING WLC
36:41 JOSHUA SLAUGHTERS MORE CANAANITES
38:49 DID GOD REALLY SLAUGHTER THE CANAANITES?
40:42 GENOCIDE IS WRONG IN THE FIRST PLACE
41:14 MORE GENOCIDE COMMANDED BY GOD
41:37 THE GOLDEN RULE
42:58 OLD TIME RELIGION RECAP
43:33 CHILD SACRIFICE IN ANCIENT ISRAEL
46:05 OLD TESTAMENT MEAN GOD VS NEW TESTAMENT LOVING GOD
47:27 SATAN’S 2 COMMANDMENTS
47:49 #1 AVALOS ADVISES EMPATHY INSTEAD OF AUTHORITY
48:08 #2 THE HUMANISTIC GOLDEN RULE

48:54 III. THE BIBLE + AUTHORSHIP
49:15 CHRISTIANS ON YOUTUBE VS BART DENTON EHRMAN
50:46 BELIEVERS & NONBELIEVERS AGREE: STANDARD STUFF
51:39 STANDARD STUFF ABOUT THE BOOK OF DANIEL
55:24 AUTHORSHIP OF SATAN’S BOOKS
55:58 BOOKS HAVE VOICES / PAULINE AUTHORSHIP
57:26 ILLITERATE FISHERMEN AUTHORS
59:18 SPEERCHULL WARFARE Y’ALL

1:03:24 IV. THE BIBLE + JESUS
1:04:04 THE CEMETERIES SAY JESUS WAS WRONG
1:04:40 FAILED END TIMES PREDICTIONS, ROLL CALL
1:05:58 SEMINARY’S BIGGEST SECRET
1:06:49 PAUL’S MISSING TOMB
1:09:03 RESURRECTION TO RESURRECTIONS / FIRSTFRUITS
1:11:03 MOM GETS LEFT BEHIND
1:13:03 BATHED & BAPTIZED IN APOCALYPTICISM
1:14:29 TWO WRONGS MAKING JESUS AN APOCALYPTICIST
1:15:25 THE BIBLE’S APOCALYPTIC JESUS
1:16:27 THE KINGDOM OF GOD ON EARTH
1:18:31 BILLIONS OF CITIES IN ISRAEL
1:19:03 NOBODY RODE A CARPET OF CLOUDS
1:19:45 THAT GENERATION DID PASS
1:22:10 JESUS’ FINAL STAND
1:24:24 IF THE GOOD BOOK IS BAD, HOW DO WE BE GOOD?